Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in steph's LiveJournal:

Monday, December 18th, 2000
3:09 am	booted... today was the day... well, that things really became messed up in my life. i got kicked out of the house by my parents... yes, booted, with no place to go. ahhh well, i guess ill deal with it, and devon is helping me go get my shit tommorrow. whatta gal! im packing up, and hitting the road. im homeless now, thats not a good feeling. i have no $$$$$ either. poor me, and im all sappy, and i wanna die or something gay, and sorrowful like that. i wanted to cut my wrists today... suicide... but that would mean and end to all this... my rainbow would then fall, and what would life be like without a rainbow??? oh yeah, mine doesnt have one anyway. i work at taco bell, and im going nowhere fast! ha ha ha. im dead, and in hell... see ya when you get here! ttfn... bizatches... Current Mood: dirty Current Music: music of suikoden... devon likes video games! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 9th, 2000
1:38 am	if only you could see into me... but you cant. noone can. noone knows. the way i dry my eyes. you think i need you? of course i do. but the question is... you think i rely on you? how could i. your not there when i need you. you dont see me. you dont know who i am or what im going through at this very moment. im alone. but yet by your side. should i tell you that i need you, or should i ignore the feeling entirely? both, but they dont ever come out the way i want them to. how quaint. how else would i have figured? i wouldnt, i simply dont figure. i live in your ignorance to your surroundings, to yourself. i can help you, but you cant help me. thats just the way it always turns out. Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: keyboard jams (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 3rd, 2000
3:23 am	i feel sick... like dead bear. hopeless, well so i feel at the moment. lost in the dark with no candle to lead me, not a light to shine on the path in front of me. why do i walk through life with no purpose, maybe because i choose to do so. maybe because im scared to say that i need anything for that matter. wouldnt that be admitting that i am incomplete? if i need than i am not content. if i am not content, then things get fuzzy. i am sorry that i lie to myself. but its kinda like self therapy, i do what the shrink does, only i get free diagnosis. i know im fucked in the head, if anyone knows... wouldnt it be me? i sure would like to hope so. with bottles upon bottles of medication unopened, sitting in the medicine cabinet, id like to think that just one could help me. no way. no help for stephanie, no end at all to any of this.i have nell though. she is a turd. she understands what pain, and depression, and loneliness are all about. do you?? i cant be sure of anything at times.. why my life is red, and fuzzy. or why i just dont give a fuck. or why i cant get close to people. defects, those damn defects. i am crazy. i have problems. i wanna be dead. but im not, so ill deal with the real. i dont like the sun it burns, and that reminds me of things from the past. its late and im delerious. im gone. late. Current Mood: disturbed Current Music: echo of the voices.. they never cease. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 26th, 2000
9:38 pm	i hate this one jew... i hate this one kid named matt. we went to his house one time, and he was the biggest retard. he thought he was fuckin' bill nye or some shit. "science rules". yeah, yeah... fuck science. that fucker has no life. and he wasnt raped no 20 times either. ha ha. well i kissed justin's hand, and touched nell's boob in a matter of 24 hours... am i a whore or what? i have this friend named devon, and she is way too punk for me, i just dont know what to do, can someone help me? i need some advice on how to be punk like her. i am nothing. i am emo. oops, now indie rock. oh well fuck that. oh i want to fuck nell in the prostate. yummy. i saw rays weiner last night. it was small... well hmm... cant all be winners! justin is now teasing me withh his ding dong. what a nasty greedy boy. damn that selfish bastard. how dare he tease. nell wants to really touch his wienis... ha ha. shes hot, and i love her, however, i still want to makeout with devon. damn those jews. arabs. shit, im suffering from A.D.D. how special, me and devon are made for each other. unfortunately... devon wants my brother... did i mention hes underage? ahh well, kindergarteners are cool with her. i love this kid. but i hate science. stringbn... jacob, was totally not what i expected. worse. i dunno. Current Mood: blah Current Music: soothing sounds of the dishwasher (Comment on this)
5:16 pm	i am gay, and want to go home now. i am in california at the moment... originally from michigan, and i want to go home now. i am homesick, and i miss my friend devon's mom... oooh she so sessy! i need to see my friends back home, i miss their tits and asses. i love devon and nell, they are sexy friends of mine. cali is rad, but home is cool too. we got tatoos here, the first day, another thing to live with everyday. i got bent over, and raped in the ass too. that was cool, and i am so happy to have been fucked in the ass by a 70 year old jew. it is time to depart now, my dildo calls from the wild. speaking of dildo.... isnt yours going off right now? (1 Comment |Comment on this)